Crappy Day

Hi there,

It's late at night, but I just wanted to have a little vent about my day. I found out my best friend is pregnant today. This was her first time TTC and it worked on their first go. And they weren't even trying seriously, she said. And she didn't even think to take a pregnancy test until she realized that her period was two weeks late. And after she told me, I had to spend the rest of the day at a sad sad funeral (albeit which made it nice and easy to have a good cry).

I realize how selfish this sounds. Of course I am thrilled for her. And, deep down, I know that I have so much to be grateful for. But it was just such hard news for me to take at this point. And I was in tears when I got home, and I don't think my husband really understands how frustrated I've been, for so long, about this.

I wish I could open up to my mom about this. I'm sure she'd understand and be so supportive. I don't quite understand why this is so hard for me to do. My husband tries to understand, but he gets frustrated, which is not what I need. Sometimes I just need someone to sit and listen to me cry. I went out for drinks when I got back from the funeral with my husband and my sister, and they were all about wanting to go out on the town, and I just wasn't in the mood, and to be honest, he wasn't very understanding.

So yeah, today was a crappy day. Everyone has them every once in a while, but I just feel extra special like shit today. Maybe therapy would help. I just don't know how much longer I can take or how much more out of control and frustrated I can get and still be able to hold it together.